How I Got My Life Back III
- Pamela Madore
- Apr 22, 2023
- 3 min read
If this is the first blog on my 3 part series, How To Get Your Back, that you have stumbled upon, let me catch you up. This is a review for the rest of you.
My solution to getting my life back was to move into a van and leave it all behind. Your answer may be very different than mine.
I asked 5 questions.
Am I overwhelmed by work? Why?
Is my husband/wife driving me crazy? In what way?
Do I feel put upon by everyone I know? Why?
Am I chasing money because there never is enough? Why is there never enough?
Are my kids exhausting me? What are they doing that exhausts you?
If you haven't answered these questions yet, please do now.
As I said, my solution was to buy a van and travel the US. I left everything and everyone behind. I got my life back.
Watch this video from Kyle, another vanlifer. His feelings mirror mine, but he says it much better. It is only a couple of minutes long. (If this doesn't load up, watch it on TikTok- Kyle's VanLife ).
Even if you leave the "van" part out because this may not be your solution, you will hear many things that you may relate to.
Think about how it makes you feel when you watch it.
How did you feel? Maybe a longing or freedom?
Did you hear what he said?
His way of escape.
A job that was going nowhere.
A toxic relationship.
A life he didn't recognize.
Fear of judgment.
Scared to be different.
Did any of those things knock you upside the head?
I don't think you have to live in a van to get your life back. For me, and many others, it was our way of finding out who we were without being wrapped up in "life" as we knew it. That may sound cliche but it is true. Who are you without all of the distractions of the life you have? Legitimate question.
Set boundaries!!!
Doing that will set you free. Do it and stick to it.
Have you ever been invited to do something or go somewhere and you didn't want to? If you are like me, you probably said yes and then dreaded it, sometimes coming up with a last-minute excuse that makes you feel crappy.
What if you just said no in the first place? Do you know how freeing that is? You set the boundary and stick to it! Good for you if you already do this.
Toxic Relationship
Google Definition:
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way--emotionally, psychologically, or even physically.
You notice that Kyle said he was in a toxic relationship. He was able to extricate himself from that relationship (I bet it was really scary to do that). What about you? Are you in a toxic relationship? Do you have the courage to extricate yourself?
Maybe you have been married for 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50 years. The relationship may not be toxic but you want to change the way you live. Have you ever considered that maybe your spouse feels the same way?! (As a side note, my aunt got a divorce when she had been married for 49 years).
Work. Home. Bed.
Is that what your life looks like?
Kyle said we weren't meant to go to work, come home, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat. How do you feel about that? Is that what you do?
How Do You Feel About Your Job?
How about your job? Do you feel stuck because you have to make money? I know I felt that way. And how would I pay off the bills I already had?
I think we have it all backward. And that is what we were taught. Or forced into it. Work was #1 and spending time with family and friends was #2.
It should be the other way around.
I remember when I was young I watched the clock on Friday. When it turned 5 I walked out the door ready to start the weekend with family and friends. And I didn't look back.
As time went on and I became self-employed there was no 5 pm. Jimmy Buffett says it is 5'clock somewhere!
I was on the hamster wheel of life.
What about you? Have you been there? Are you there now?
What are you going to do about it?
If you move on from this series and don't make any changes in your life, then this series of blogs have failed you and for that I am sorry. I want everyone to have a feeling of peace in knowing who you are and what you want out of life.
Blessings.
Pam and Coco
Boondock And Beyond
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