My VanLife Trip To Mexico

I didn't actually take my van. We walked across the border. Here Coco and I were, bold as an ice water enema marching into a foreign land. Los Algodones.

They didn't check our papers so I took that as a good sign.

Before I was 10 feet across the line I was accosted by a man who thought I should have a new pair of glasses. Admittedly, I do need a pair of glasses. My up close reading is somewhere between non-existent and less than nonexistent.

For some reason, I thought this would be a good idea. I think I left my brain back in the van in my junk drawer.

My first clue should have been when I tried to explain I have progressive lens. "Oh, no problem. No problem. " I went on to explain my progressive lens had 3 parts. Far away, mid-range, and up close. "No problem".

My second clue should have been when I sat in the optical chair right next to the dental chair. Instead of a machine to look in he had a big old pair of clunky metal glasses that mostly hung off my face. From there he inserted lenses into them and asked "better?".

Finally, when that nightmare was over he told me that my distance hadn't changed (I believe that to be true) but my readers changed a lot. I asked about the mid-range. "no problem". I was to return in an hour and a half and they would be ready. OK.

I'll finish that story later.

The town was maybe half a dozen streets. Except for the roads, the entire town was tiled. Really. I am not kidding. There was little matching tile. Each little alcove had its design. It looked like a tile factory exploded and someone just came along and threw some grout down. It gave the whole place a charm that felt good.

It was a one-lane road that all of the drivers thought was 2 lanes and the tourists didn't even know a street existed. I saw a few signs that said Alto but I guess no one knew Spanish. Lots of honking caused the town to become alive.

Dentists, opticians, and pharmacies were lined up in a row like ticky-tacky houses. No appointment is needed, As a matter of fact, there were vendedors on the street trying to lure you in. It wasn't sleazy. Just persistent.

From want I learned, lots of Americans go to these border towns to have dental done. I saw a sign for an implant for $799. I got a quote in the states for almost $4000. This makes good sense to me. Apparently, the quality is good.

I have a friend who had a wisdom tooth out. It was $160 instead of $400 in the states. And he was going to have to wait two months to get in. This was same-day service. They only had novocaine but it got the job down. Next, he walked next door to the pharmacy to get the antibiotics. Not sure about the pain pills.

I don't know what kind of drugs they sell but there were lots of them.

The vendors were so much fun. There were some nice things. Usually, the conversation went something like this.

Vendor--what do you need?

Me--Nothing

Vendor--see these earrings? they look very good on you.

Me--No thanks

Vendor--(pointing to the bracelets). which one you like? (grabbing one and putting it on my wrist)

Me--how much

Vendor--$35

Me--too much

Vendor-- how much you pay? $30?

Me--No, still too much

Vendor--$25. (whispering aside) Don't tell anyone I sold it so low

Me--still too much( I am still wearing the bracelet)

Vendor--how much you pay

Me--$10

Vendor--no no that too cheap

Me--talking the bracelet off

Vendor--OK. $10. show me the money

That was soooo much fun for me. I bought a couple of things going through the same process. It was like a game of chess!

Roughly in the center of the action was la palapa.

The food looked delicious and the music was festive. It made me feel like I was in an old Mexican movie. I didn't see any banditos but I did see los alguacilies around town with AK-47s. I don't think the bartender had a barback though because a third of the bar was littered with empty bottles and dirty glasses,

It had been an hour and a half so let's go back to get my glasses. They had just arrived. I picked out a white frame with navy earpieces. This should have been my third clue. I have a small head so when he tried to tighten them for my head, he broke the frame. He wanted to get a new frame and mail them to me. There was a black and red pair that was similar so I asked if the lens would fit in those frames. He tried them and they were just a little bit off. No problem. The lab can fix those. Come back in 20 minutes.

I went to get a taco.

It was getting late by now and I overheard someone say that there was a really long line to get back into the states.

This is when my phone died. Out of battery. I was so annoyed with myself because I had just bought a solar phone charger and I forgot to bring it with me! Don't forget yours.

So no more pictures.

I went back to get my glasses and he was standing outside with them wrapped in paper. He passed them to me and I was on my way. In retrospect, I probably should have put them on. It wasn't until I got back to the states did I realize his definition of progressive was very different than mine. The top half was for distance and the bottom half (yes I said half) was for reading. And not really all that well.

My daddy always taught me that if the lesson I learned only cost me money I was lucky indeed.

We waited in line for 2 hours to cross the border. Coco was getting antsy. We had found one patch of dirt in the whole town for her to pee. I had spent my last cash on a $35 poncho for $17. The nice man in front of us bought Coco some water. She drinks out of the bottle so that was no problem. She was grateful.

When it was my turn, I showed the lady my passport which she didn't look at. She asked me why I went to Mexico today and if I bought any drugs (not sure the reason for that question). She made me empty my pockets and lift my $17 poncho up so she could see what I was hiding. She glanced at Coco. I had his papers with me but a glance seemed to work. You may go.

There were so many other fun things that happened I could write two more blogs. Like always bring cash. There are only one or two places in town that have a card machine. Or if you bring a dog know that you will be stopped every few feet for details.

We had a grand time. If you are in the area, stop by. You won't regret it!

Pam and Coco

Boondock And Beyond

pam@boondockandbeyond.com

Follow Us Here